The Christmas Tree Lights War - White, Colored, or Other?

In some families (or between some couples) everyone agrees on whether Christmas tree lights should be colored or white, and so in those households there is no Christmas Tree Lights war. Then, however, there are those households in which the war (or at least minor, secret, longing and/or resentment) results when someone wants colored lights on the tree and someone else wants all white lights.

This can happen when someone has grown up with tree lights "always" being colored or "always" being white, and many people want those things that made them feel like Christmas carried on into adulthood. Then, too, there are people who always wished their own parents had the other color lights, vowed to have the color of their preference when they grew up, and then find themselves living with someone who shares the opposite preferences that parents had. What to do? What to do? Someone isn't going to be happy, unless...... everyone in the house gets the tree lights he wants.

As a long-time resident in the land of the Christmas Light Cold War, several years ago I finally realized that the color of the tree lights doesn't have to be an "either/or" situation. One tree can have both. Yes, this means twice the cords to bury into branches and twice the tangling to deal with before and after Christmas (not to mention twice the cost of buying all those lights, but these days lights are inexpensive); but stringing two completely different light colors lets everyone be happy some of the time.

Stringing lights in a way that allows one plug to cover the white lights, and a separate plug to cover the colored lights, allows for lighting the tree with only white, only colored, or both (a particularly sparkling and festive look, but get out the sunglasses if you have a lot of lights).

Further variety in "look" can be achieved by using the kind of sets of light that allow for several different blinking arrangements (individually, all at once, high speed, low speed, only every six bulbs, etc. etc.).

Lighting looks can be changed according to who is home or time of time. (I use the colored/white combination for early evenings when one person is home and white lights only when I'm alone in the house or for days or late nights. On Christmas day I use both sets because the tree looks particularly bright, sparkly, and festive. I have a feeling when I leave the house there's a good chance the only-colored-lights arrangement may be used. I, personally, never choose that one.

This stroke of lighting good will and "brilliance" has served our family well over the last several years, and I'll never have another Christmas tree with only one color lights again.

Rats - My Floodlight's Broken! A Christmas "Emergency"

Every Christmas, like "half the rest of the world", I hang a traditional wreath on my front door. Sometimes I just hang a traditional, natural, wreath with a tradition bow. Sometimes I add berries or other decorations. It depends on my mood, how sick I am of the "same old wreath" of the most recent years, and my mood.

A few years ago we changed the lighting on the front porch, though, and it wasn't until I hung the Christmas wreath months later that I discover the light doesn't really hit the wreath. So, in the darkness of night, the wreath looks like a shadowy blob on the door. In fact, it actually seems to darken the light ordinarily given off by the porch light.

By the time I discovered this the first year it was a little too late to get a temporary flood light to shine on the door. I vowed to get one the next year, but I couldn't find the kind I was looking for. I went through two Christmases with the front-door/wreath situation irking the heck out of me at night (and if your lights and decorations don't look good at night, what's the point?).

Last year I set out early on my quest for a holiday floor light. Thinking WalMart specializes in such things, I went to their lighting department. A friendly sales associate asked what I was looking for; and when I told her, she went on to explain how I'd need someone to do a whole, big, electrical wiring thing to accomplish what I wanted to accomplish. I knew better.

After looking at a few stores I was preparing for another shadowy Christmas door, and then - much to my surprise - I found exactly what I was looking for in Brooks Pharmacy. It would need a lamp and an extension cord, but I was delighted. I bought the lamp and the extension (green so it could be discreet).

Happily I stuck the holiday floodlight into the ground by the walk, and I carefully arranged the cord so it wouldn't show and wouldn't get caught in the snowblower if it snowed. The door looked absolutely perfect, and for the first time in a few years I was really happy with it. With the first couple of snows that fell the light just melted the snow around it (it occurred to me that a whole bunch of them would make clearing the walk unnecessary, although I knew it was a ridiculous notion). With one storm, though, the light was knocked over and then frozen into the snow. As I tried to carefully get the whole "arrangement" restored to its normal "beauty", the glass lamp sprung from my hand, hit the blacktop, and broke. I immediately replaced it, and for another little while I had the great front door lighting again. Not long after that, I looked out to discover the lamp was out again. I assumed it was yet more storm damage and resigned myself to not having that "perfect" door for the rest of the season. (Christmas was over by this time anyway.)

I bought a replacement lamp, thinking that's all I'd need this year. Recently, when I dug out the Christmas floodlight, thinking I'd just add a new lamp and be all set, I discovered the thing made a snap when I screwed in the lamp. I tried a second one, and the same thing happened. Apparently, the little piece of junk was only meant to last for about two weeks before Christmas (as long as there were no snow storms and certainly no ice storms).

So, now that I've discovered this recently, here I am - faced with the challenge of either living with a shadowy wreath or hoping to find another temporary, junky, floodlight that may or may not last until Christmas. Oh - woe is me. Woe is me. Of course, we all know that I'll be out looking for yet another one of those cheapy Christmas floodlights until I find one. (Since I'm not inclined to put a spotlight on my front door at any other time of year, the idea of installing a "real" floodlight doesn't interest me.)

In the meantime, there it is - the wreath that turns into a shadowy blob at night, probably causing all passers by to think, "Well, the window lights are nice but I wonder why they hang that non-descript, black, blob on their door each year." Oh - woe is me! Maybe I should buy a case of the cheapy floodlights and just kind of realize they should be seen as five-day, disposable, affairs.

A Favorite Christmas Song

My favorite Christmas is a song that I didn't like when I was younger - "Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas". I used to think the word, "little," in the song was "stupid". Over time the song grew on me. First, I began to appreciate the very pretty melody and began to overlook the fact that I wasn't too taken by the words (mostly that, "little"). Somewhere along the way I began to listen to all the words other than that "little", and I realized the words are very meangingful. I decided that the song had more meaningful words in it than that one "stupid" word, and I became more forgiving. Of course, time can change us, as well as our preference for music.

When I was a child, the two kinds of Christmas music that meant the most to me were traditional, religious, Christmas music and the lighter, "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer" kind of songs. That, I suppose, was because I went to church with my father and, even as a child, found the traditional/religious music very beautiful at Christmas. Also, being a child, I of course liked the lighter songs.

My father passed away when I was 21; and although the family continued to have the same kind of Christmases, things (and I) had changed. I continued to like the same songs I had liked all along, but once I got into my twenties there were office parties, company parties, and parties with young, single, friends. Christmas was still primarily about family to me, but new dimensions had been added. I guess when you're in your twenties you're close enough to your childhood and teen years to still like the same music, and you're not spending a lot of time analyzing lyrics and melodies to songs you've heard "forever".

When my children were little my sister's children were similar in age to mine. There were two other family members who were of that age as well, so Christmas was all about the children - and about as busy and chaotic as Christmases can be. There was, of the course, the Santa shopping and the gift shopping. There was the figuring out of which fancy dish would be for which fancy vegetable for the Christmas dinners that were always at my house (because I had the youngest children). I'd generally tune out the incessant Christmas music piped into every store at the mall, supermarket, and even empty parking lots. Christmases were fun but crazy, and getting ready for them left little time for calmly listening to, and reflecting on, Christmas music. The one thing I would do would be on Christmas Eve, when, after the kids and my husband were all asleep, I'd put the television on that Yule Log that used to be on and listen to the traditional Christmas music. It was my little moment of peace after a long Christmas season and before I had to get up and make dinner for 22 people, along with everything else there was to do. As the years passed the children, of course, grew to be young adults.

It was twelve years ago that my mother passed away, and thirteen years ago that my older sister became a grandmother. Her daughter has since had three more children, which means my sister's Christmas Day has now become centered around her grandchildren. Our Christmas Day visiting routine has, over time, gradually changed, along with the ages of our children.

These days my children are young adults with friends, boyfriends, girlfriends, etc., but no spouses or children yet. Christmas does include my children, their father, my brother, and anyone else who shows up; but it's a quieter time. My sister has a separate Christmas get-together at her house on a different day. My kids' paternal grandparents are no longer with us; and like their cousins on my side, their cousins on their father's have grown and gone out on their own. Even though it has been some time since my parents have both passed away, there is always that thing we have at Christmas that kind of hangs over our head and makes us think of those Christmases when we were kids and had both our parents - and it seemed as if things would be like that forever.

I still like the traditional Christmas music (although after the first few decades of listening to it one can get a little tired of it). I still love the "Rudolph" and "Frosty" kind of songs. I find "Little Drummer Boy" and, particularly, "Do You Hear What I Hear" beautiful songs. Very beautiful, too, are "For Unto Us A Child Is Born" and "Hark the Herald Angels Sing". Heck, I've even come around to liking "We Three Kings" (after really disliking that song as a kid). I've come far enough past the loss of my parents (and all their siblings and siblings' spouses, as well) that Christmas is, of course, a happy and special holiday. Still, I suppose our tastes in Christmas music may reflect our stage of life and feelings more than one would think.

A few years ago I decided to download a Christmas song to my cell phone. I happened to run into "Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas" and decided it was a pretty melody to use as a ringtone. Over time, I began to pay more attention to that song, truly forgive the lyricist for using the word, "little" (which no longer seemed so stupid), and listen more carefully to the words. My favorite line is when the song gets to "Hang a shining star upon the highest bough" (although I, personally, have a Christmas angel for my tree).

What I guess I most like about the song, though, is that it recognizes that Christmas isn't always about decking the halls for office and company parties or even running ourselves ragged in our effort to be Santa's helpers. "Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas" recognizes that when being young and single is a thing of the past; when office parties (now often called "Winter celebrations" and held in January just to make sure nobody mistakes them for a Christmas party) are no longer what they once were; and even after there's no more need to put out those plates of cookies (and having Daddy eat them but make sure to leave some crumbs); Christmas remains special in ways that, perhaps, we can only appreciate once we have experienced a little more of life and loss. I suppose, to me, the pretty and low-key melody seems almost like a Christmas "love song" of sorts for family and friends (which somehow, even though it's not super cheerful or super holy, just kind of conveys the warmth and meaning of Christmas).

When Christmas is no longer about the innocence of Santa (anticipating his arrival or pretending to be him), the craziness of having 8 or 9 little cousins throwing wrapping paper all over the living room; or the craziness, elegance and/or stuffiness of company parties; the true meaning of it somehow just seems closer to the surface. "Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas" is, in its own way, a little Christmas song. It doesn't have the power that religious or traditional Christmas music has, and it doesn't have the bright, Christmas-y, mood that the "Rudolph" and "Holly Jolly Christmas" kind of songs have. It is, though, a beautiful little song - and it is (at least for now) my favorite.

When the Christmas Spirit Doesn't Move You

Whether Christmas holds a religious meaning for you, or whether your focus is on family, tradition, and that warm, peace-on-Earth approach, there are times when it can be a real challenge to feel even a shred of Christmas spirit.

For every family that gets to enjoy a festive Christmas with all the trimmings there are many more who simply don't have the money for such a Christmas. Whether or not money is an issue, there are many people who live alone and don't see the need to try to create some Christmas atmosphere. There are also those times when someone is sick or when people have had recent loss and can't imagine bothering with Christmas. Some of these people will have fond memories of Christmas seasons that "felt like Christmas". Others may have never experienced the feeling.

Regardless of circumstances, its just kind of nice when people don't feel that the Christmas season is for others but not for them. For people who need to create a Christmas for children (even grown ones) or elderly family members finding a way to create a little Christmas atmosphere is particularly important. How, though, can the person with limited means or limited energy muster up what it takes to create some Christmas atmosphere in the home? Its really not that difficult or expensive. The world is full of magazines that tell readers how to have a beautiful Christmas when energy and money are in abundance (or at least not stretched to the limit). The following ideas on making the Christmas season feel a little more like Christmas are for those who are stretched to the limit, whether that's when it comes to money, physical stamina, or emotional energy.

Must-Haves Whether You'll Eat Them or Not

Gingerbread Men: During the Christmas season every home should have a plate of gingerbread men and a bowl of candy canes out somewhere. Li'l Debbie has boxes of eight wrapped gingerbread men for just over one dollar. If you're able to make gingerbread that is, of course, even better. (4 pkgs x 1.39)

Candy Canes: Boxes of a dozen candy canes are also available for about a dollar or less. Traditional peppermint canes are the most Christmas-y. Besides being put out on display to create a little atmosphere, both gingerbread men and candy canes make inexpensive, traditional and charming tree decorations if you will have a tree. Sure, your taste may lean toward fine baked goods and elegant ornaments from a gift shop, but when you're stretched to the limit you sometimes need to go with what is simply Christmas-y and traditional. (3 pkgs x 1.00)

Must-Haves Whether They're Your Taste or Not

Balsam Christmas Wreath with a Red Bow for Your Front Door: Your first preference may not be the basic balsam wreath. Maybe you don't even like them. They are, however, easy to find and inexpensive. Decorating your door with one of these will leave more money to be spent on something else. Whether you like them or don't, they're Christmas-y and traditional. (Also, they smell like Christmas.) (About $5) If you don't have a front door, decorate an inside door, wall or window with a wreath.

Window candles and extra bulbs: Traditional, plastic, window candles are extremely inexpensive. You may not be able to (or want to) put one in every window in your house, but put one (or a multi-bulb candelabra - also inexpensive) in the windows of the room where you'll spend most of your time. (3 or 4: $6 -$8) If you don't have windows stand candles on tables (or boxes if you need to).

String Lights: Window candles can make more atmosphere than string lights do, but if you have a spare few dollars for a string of lights to drape over a handrail or fireplace even better. If you're going to have a tree you will need at least two sets of string lights. (2 boxes of 100-lights: About $6) If you don't have a tree string lights over railings or across windows or door frames.

Poinsettias: If you can only buy one little poinsettia to put on your dining table buy at least that. If buying a larger plant or additional smaller ones is possible, the more the better. If there's a reason you can't buy real plants consider looking for a few good fake poinsettias to put in the a glass vase. (Yes, fake flowers are often tacky, but its better to have a few fake poinsettias in vases than no poinsettias at all. They help with the Christmas feeling.)

Scented Potpourri, Tarts or Candles: Products to scent the home come in all kinds of Christmas-y scents. They can really ad to the atmosphere. One tart can be used several times. You do, of course, need a burner. If you can't come up with a burner votive candles are the next best thing. Votives can be found at dollar stores and grocery stores.

Christmas Music: Sometimes you can find inexpensive Christmas music in dollar stores, but even if you don't have and can't buy any radio stations often play Christmas music in the days leading up to Christmas. Some play nothing but Christmas music on Christmas Eve and Day.

Tablecloth: If you have a white, cream, red, green, or Christmas tablecloth iron it and put it on your table. Stores like WalMart sell tablecloths (sometimes in the Christmas aisle, rather than in domestics) for as little as $8. If you can't come up with a cloth tablecloth buy a disposable holiday version. The lightweight plastic table covers are inexpensive and durable enough to be able to leave on for the week or so before Christmas. Don't shop at a party store for these. Grocery stores, discount stores, and dollar stores are the best bet.

The above, basic, items will help create Christmas feeling in your home. Depending on how many of these items you need to buy the total expenditure could range as high as $30 or $35. If money is a problem it may be possible to buy these items over the course of a few weeks or more in order to make the expense less painful.

A Tree: A tree really helps create a Christmas atmosphere, so if at all possible its nice to have a tree.

Trees, of course, cost money and can be work to put up. If you already have an artificial tree that's one expense about which you won't need to worry. Small trees are sometimes easier to afford than full-sized trees. They're also easier to put up. Mini-trees are better than none, whether they're real or artificial. Real trees can be found relatively inexpensively, but they require work to put up. Its possible you would know someone who has an old artificial tree they don't want to use this year and would let you borrow. Even "tired" old artificial trees can be held together with wire or tape if they must be called to duty one last time.

A tree is more important to have when young children live in the home, but having even a small tree will add a little atmosphere to anyone's Christmas season.

Decorating the tree: The $35 I noted above includes four packages of Li'l Debbie gingerbread men. Use two or three to decorate the tree. That figure also includes three packages of candy canes. Use two for the tree. If you buy one or two sets of string lights use them on a tree rather than elsewhere in the house. If you're able to afford a third set of lights for the tree that would add sparkle. If your tree has nothing but lights, gingerbread men and candy canes it will look Christmas-y and traditional. Anything extra you're able to add will be even nicer.

Gifts: When young children are involved and money is the problem it may be necessary to ask for assistance from local groups which help Santa come for young children. When there aren't young children you will need to decide whether its possible to find tiny gifts for each family member or whether exchanging gifts is necessary. Dollar stores are great for finding inexpensive glass vases, photo albums, tools, knit caps, or any number of items that could be wrapped. These stores also sell wrapping paper for less. Making gifts is always a nice idea as well.

Christmas Dinner: While having a big dinner with all the fixings is, of course, the nicest thing to do, there can be times when cutting back on the lavish dinner in order to have a few Christmas goodies may feel more like Christmas. Some people would agree that they care less about the big dinner than they do the atmosphere, so don't feel bad about cutting back on the dinner. This may be one time when decorations and traditional treats may be more crucial than a big, fancy, dinner.

Christmas Goodies: It doesn't feel like Christmas without Christmas goodies, but for under $2 (sometimes as little as $1) you can buy a mix like Pillsbury's cranberry, apple, or date breads. For under $6 three breads can be made. Cutting small pieces can provide some for Christmas Eve and some for Christmas Day. If you're not able to provide any goodies other than these, the gingerbread men, and the candy canes at least these items are traditional. A nice extra is pop corn on Christmas Eve. Its inexpensive and smell nice when its popping.

Tips for When Your Money is Limited: When money is a problem, whether or not your Christmas will be as bare-bones as the one proposed above, try to begin picking up an item here or there no later than October. As early as possible, but no later than November, find ways to cut down on your regular grocery spending. Use the money you save by cutting back to buy what you need for Christmas. These may not be ideal, but the frozen meat case usually has small turkey breast roasts (in a foil pan with gravy) for about $3. Canned vegetables and instant potato are inexpensive. Add a package of dinner rolls, and you've got a modest dinner for the holiday.

Tips for When Your Physical Stamina is Low: If you have family members ask them to help. When it comes to putting up any decorations do one thing at a time, here or there, over the first week or so of December.

Tips for When Your Emotional Energy is Depleted: Again, ask for help. Again, don't try to do everything at once. Make lists to help clear your mind. Check off each completed task. Start taking out the holiday/special dishes early, only a few at a time. Make sure they're clean, dry, and wrapped so they'll be ready for use when you want them. Make sure all dishes you'll be using are ready to go by around December 15. Don't leave any gifts to collect before wrapping them, but even if you do get all wrapping done by no later than December 15 or so. The last ten days before Christmas should not be more stress than they need to be.

The above suggestions will not get you a big, beautiful, extravagant, Christmas. Using these suggestions may, however, get you a little Christmas feeling in the weeks before the holiday and a nice, traditional, little, Christmas Day. Whether you're low on money, physical stamina, emotional energy, or all of the above a nice little Christmas may be just the thing to help you forget your troubles and have that one special day.

Have yourself a merry little Christmas. These ideas are my gift to you.

Often Overlooked Gifts for Boys in the 7 to 14 Age Range

Most boys like a good set of Legos (even if it's too add to some they already have). Most boys (even those too old to play with toys in general, like any kind of good building/construction set and will be kept busy). Also, they often like magic sets, things to help them start a collection of some kind, scooters, hockey skates, vinyl baseball bases, nets for street hockey, pogo sticks, stilts, "intelligent" games (Stratego-type games, Monopoly, Life, Battleship). Then there's always sports equipment, bike accessories, books about how things are made or books about adventures or collections or whatever they're interested in).

A scooter, sled, snowboard, unicycle, pogo stick, or pair of stilts may be fun. Vinyl baseball bases, nets for street hockey, or any kind of sporting equipment usually appeals to boys, provided the sport is one in which they've shown interest. Books about real-life adventures, collections, sports figures, or science often appeal to boys. So do books on things like how to play guitar, how to draw, or how to build. Magic sets or sets that begin a collection are often good. Hockey skates, skis, or equipment associated with either or these can make good gifts. For boys who like art, art sets and supplies make good gifts. A camera and photography books can make a good gift for the right boy. Boys in this age range often also like particularly challenging puzzles and brain teasers.

Getting Through the Holidays After Recently Losing A Loved One

My parents are both gone now. My father died on Thanksgiving, and my mother died that day before Thanksgiving. You can probably imagine what a cloud that put over all future Thanksgiving for us - but we do the day and do our best to ignore that cloud. The first Christmas after each death was weeks after the death, so those we just go through with numbness. With the Christmas that was closer to the year anniversaries, though, it was also difficult. One reason is that (at least for me) it's around a year that the numbness has worn off and when you start to feel it all as if for the first time almost. Of course, you're used to what happened, so you can deal with it better.

What I've learned is this: Don't expect much from Christmas this year. Know it will have a cloud over it, and try to find things that will keep you from paying much attention that "cloud". Stay away from particularly serious and holy Christmas music and events, because they can just get you moved and thinking. Try to listen to the Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer and Winter Wonderland kind of music.

Decide not to expect this year to be like others. Think of it - right upfront - as a Christmas that you will need to kind of remove yourself from in some ways. Put up a few decorations if you want. If you don't feel like it, don't. Decorations rub salt into the wound for some people. Think of Christmas as a dinner and the chance to give some gifts, but consciously try to keep from feeling any Christmas spirit or feeling the day at all. Put up a wall, so to speak. Keep in mind that your loved one probably would want you to get through the day as best as you can, so if you have to decide to try not to think about her as much as possible that's probably what she would want you to do. Chances are at a couple of times during the day someone in the family will think of her/him and maybe cry, but that's ok too. Let the holidays this year be completely different from other years because, again, you can go back to your traditions next year or the year after. This is a "special kind of Christmas", and you need to do what it will take to get through it most comfortably.

If you have a chance to go to any parties go. It's good to get out where people are being light hearted and laughing. You probably won’t really feel up to going anywhere, and you’ll probably think there’s no point; but if you’re at all open to the idea of going, just go for a little while at least. It’s not disrespectful to go to a little Christmas party soon after losing someone. It’s a chance to get out and talk to socialize a little, even if you’re not the life of the party. It’s best to stay away from alcohol as much as possible (particularly if you’re the type who gets gloomy and more likely to cry after a couple of drinks). When you’re trying to get through the first holidays after losing someone close it’s a time when you need to keep your emotions under control as much as possible. You don’t need your inhibitions lowered right now.
People at the party will know you just lost someone. Nobody will be expecting you to dance on the tables. It’s perfectly acceptable to just go, have some holiday party food, and talk with a few people.

Stay away from the activities that you always shared with your loved one. Don’t go to places where you went with him/her this year.

Decide to keep the holidays simple. If you can eat dinner at someone else's house or spend time someone other than where you usually do, do that. Again, you can go back to the old ways of doing things next year.

Keep in mind that these holidays are just days. They start at midnight and end at midnight, and there's sleeping during a few of those hours. Morning isn't usually as bad because it's not when most people have started their traditional dinner/festivities, so all you really need to get through is afternoons and early evenings.

The year my mother died my brother had already gotten the stuff to do dinner. Because of my mother I had my younger kids stay with their other grandmother for Thanksgiving. My sister and her family stayed in their own house. My brother did dinner for me, my oldest son, and himself. We didn't get out any fancy dishes. We just sat together and ate the dinner. It was pretty pathetic feeling, but we got through it. My brother's reasoning was that since he had the food we may as well eat it. We did nothing else that Thanksgiving, but it passed.

Losing a loved one is an awful thing, and it takes surprisingly long to really get over it (as much as you ever will), but it's also often surprising how we actually get through those first holidays by going through the motions, keeping things simple, going out to be with friends as much as possible, and generally waking up the next day to realize that it was only 24 hours; and it is now over.

So, keep things simple. Do things differently. Stay away from things that you know will make you feel like Christmas. Turn Christmas (and Thanksgiving) into "toned down days" and do the things that you think will make it easier on yourself and other family members. It can help to just decide this will be a "lost" Christmas in some ways. Normal life and normal holidays will return, but this isn't the year for that.

When It's Truly the Thought the Counts - Super-Inexpensive Gift Ideas

When the gift recipients will be family or friends (rather than, say, professional colleagues) it truly is the thought that counts. Family and friends understand the financial situation of those who struggle with finances. (If you have professional colleagues to whom you plan to give gifts chances are you also have the money to buy an appropriate one.)

Bear in mind that these suggestions are for the truly financially challenged (such as students, low-income individuals, unemployed people, and the unemployed), and remember that the future gift recipients really do understand the situation and don't want someone who is struggling to try to buy "better" gifts.

1. Gifts that have been created by the giver are always very nice. If you're able to paint, something like simple watercolor artworks on mats make a really nice gift. If you're not an artist but are able to make anything with materials from a crafts store or discount store's crafts department that's nice too. WalMart has a crafts department and sells unpainted wood cut-outs out of which wall-hangings can be made. The small bottles of paint sell for under fifty cents each.

One or two stems of artificial flowers can be taken apart and arranged attractively on the painted wall-hanging. Ribbon for decorating and/or hanging or stick-on flowers and other stick-ons are also available. Hangers can be found either in the crafts, framing, stationery or curtain-rod departments. While a glue gun and glue stick are always best, extremely inexpensive glue can be found in the stationery department for under a dollar.

For the beading-inclined, crafts departments have all kinds of beads that can easily be strung to make gifts for girls (over six years old or so) and women.

2. Dollar Stores and Discount Stores (like WalMart) offer a variety of items that can be pretty, attractive or useful. Stores like these often offer a variety of basic glass vases, which, in themselves, are often handy to have. For the person who has a little skill with a paintbrush, painting these basic vases can turn something basic into something very special.

These stores usually offer inexpensive photo albums, things like desk accessories, or tools. While inexpensive tools aren't what a professional would want, the person who has no tools in his car's trunk may appreciate a few basic screwdrivers, wrenches and/or flashlights. Often found in stores like this are standard knit ski caps and basic little knit gloves in all colors. Things like umbrellas or scarves can also be extremely inexpensive. There are also "gift-y" items like scented candles and candle accessories. Picture frames (especially with your photo or painting in it) make nice gifts. These stores often have holiday or year-round mugs, which could be filled with candy or nuts and wrapped Easter-basket style with colored, see-through paper and a ribbon tie.

Discount stores often offer rather pretty costume jewelry, but even gift shops often offer nice looking costume jewelry for under fifteen dollars. With inexpensive costume jewelry simpler is usually better, and staying away from large, fake stones is always a good idea (unless, of course, you know that the recipient likes huge, fake, stones). Simple pieces without "gems" or with only tiny ones are usually the nicest. Also available in discount stores and gift shops are keychains, coaster sets, and other smaller gifts such as sports-team associated bottle openers, hats, keychains, Teddy Bears, or mugs.

Discount and dollar stores often sell calendars for very little. Placemats, potholders, and placemat/potholder sets make nice little gifts. So do table-runners and doilies. Stores like these offer two-dollar calculators (although you have to hunt out the ones that don't look like they cost that), dollar FM radios that fit in a pocket or purse, super-cheap headphones or earbuds (for the person who could use an extra pair and doesn't care whether they're top-of-the-line).

Sometimes a shopper can find super-cheap books or CD's at these stores. Small-sized scents, moisturizers, and other bath products from well known companies are often available, and sometimes unknown companies offer these products in pretty packages/bottles. (Many lesser known companies offer products that have a nice scent.)

For the gift recipient who also struggles, sometimes a pretty gift bag full of things the recipient really needs makes the perfect gift. Does s/he need office or school supplies? Kitchen items? Bathroom items? Personal products? Gadgets? Would a selection of teas, candy, cookies, coffees or cheeses be something the recipient would like? Keep in mind that discount department stores and drug stores also offer some fairly nice holiday gift packages priced at ten dollars and under. Hunting carefully can often help the shopper find that particularly nice gift package that's just a little more appealing than some of the not-so-great ones. At holiday time candy is often packaged in special tins. So is popcorn.

These stores often offer fairly nice looking (but cheap) glass plates, bowls, glasses, juice decanters, or even wine glasses. Not all gift recipients are looking for Lenox items. Holiday time often brings sales on things like coffee makers, toasters and irons. Other kitchen/food gadgets are also usually available for under fifteen dollars. For the shopper who knows someone who needs a cell phone or Ipod case, these stores often offer very inexpensive but reasonably nice looking cases.

Toys for babies under two are usually quite inexpensive. Bibs and cute little undershirts are also available for babies. So are Golden Books (often sold at places like supermarkets). Coloring books, paint-with-water books, activity books and crayons make nice little gifts for children. Generally, the toy department at a discount store offers toys, books, craft sets, and other items for children between five and twelve.

Regardless of the age of the recipient, small stuffed animals are usually available at discount department stores, discount drug stores, and dollar stores. At holiday time there are often pretty porcelain, collector-type, dolls in a variety of sizes.

Sometimes a shopper may find a pretty slip or camisole as a gift for women. There are also trinket boxes, make-up cases (or sets of cases), and tote bags. Some men may appreciate a good package of their favorite kind of socks, a shaving set, or some thermal gloves. There are manicure sets for both genders. Also, don't overlook pretty soap dishes or handcream dispensers, high-quality ice scrapers or snow shovels meant to be kept in cars, or inexpensive throws (blanket-type) to be kept on a sofa or bed or in a car for emergencies. Boxes of notecards also make a nice but inexpensive gift. Small plants in attractive pots make nice gifts for the right person as well. A bunch of fresh cut flowers from the supermarket (either wrapped by the florist department or placed in an inexpensive vase) is a small but nice gift under some circumstances.

Sometimes inexpensive, but particularly appropriate, Christmas ornaments can be found. There are often also knick-knack items that may be particularly right for certain people.

3. For those in the AT&T Wireless area AT&T's website often offers prepaid, refurbished (but with a limited warranty) cell phones inexpensively. These prepaid phones come with starter time on them, so when AT&T is offering a refurbished phone the shopper gets the phone and the time for the price. The gift recipient must, of course, pay at least fifteen dollars a month to keep the service on (although s/he will have 60 days before the account is closed).

4. Don't forget edible gifts that you put together yourself. There are easy-to-make fudge recipes, as well as easy-to-make cookie, coffee cake, and banana-nut breads. If baking from scratch is not possible Pillsbury offers quickbread mixes (date, banana, carrot, pumpkin, lemon poppy, apple, and others) at less than two dollars a mix. These mixes require eggs, shortening, vegetable oil, any add-ins one prefers, loaf pans (disposable foil loaf pans in packages of three or individually are available) and a mixing bowl. Mixing up several different kinds of quickbreads and presenting them on a pretty (and inexpensive) holiday plate or in a holiday tin makes an inexpensive gift. When they're presented on a plate or in a tin they can be cut into small slices. These breads can also be presented unsliced and wrapped attractively.

Party stores, as well as discount and dollar stores, usually carry plastic, "cut-glass-looking" plates, trays, and other dishes for inexpensive but attractive presentation of foods. Inexpensive baskets can also often be found, especially at holiday time. Fruit baskets or fruit trays can easily be made by adding (of course) fruit and wrapping. Unsliced fruit will last longer, although slicing/cutting it works better on trays.

5. Gift cards and gift certificates are available from most retailers and start with denominations of ten dollars (although fast-food places may offer five-dollar books of gift certificates). Whether its a book store, WalMart, Dunkin Donuts, CVS or McDonalds, these cards can make useful gifts for some people. Students who use prepaid phone service may appreciate a few dollars on a phone card (that is, of course, from their service provider).

Many of the above gifts can be mixed and matched and included in a gift bag of assorted gifts. A gift bag with things like a small box of note cards, some scented candles, a pretty key chain, and a trial size package of some personal product the recipient is known to use makes a nice gift.

When the recipient understands the giver's financial situation giving a card with the gift is often not necessary. Gift tags with a few extra words on them will do the job. When a greeting card is important it isn't necessary to pay three dollars for one. Dollar stores, discount stores, and supermarkets often offer cards for less. Making a card is also nice. Its also not necessary to pay top dollar for wrapping paper, gift bags, tissue paper, tape or ribbons. These items, too, can be found at dollar stores for very little money.

Finally, regardless of one's religion (or lack of it), keep in mind the words from the Christmas song, "The Little Drummer Boy", in which the drummer boy says, "I have no gift to bring....that's fit to give a king....shall I play for Him on my drum?"